Loss of Communication

Communication is extremely important for basic human interaction. We communicate every day, with our voices, our body language, our facial expressions, and through writing. Within these are many different variations, such as different languages and forms of writing. However, in difficult or uncomfortable situations this communication can be lost.

A story depicting this loss of communication, “A Primer for the Punctuation of Heart Disease” by Jonathan Safran Foer, discusses different forms of punctuation and how the narrator utilizes the punctuation when communicating with his family. This story shows how overtime with different situations the communication between the narrator and his family becomes more and more strained. This story also discusses the unsaid words between the family members like at the end the narrator and father have an interaction where neither says they love each other however the narrator assumes it is unspoken. This story shows how family dynamics and trauma can also affect interactions. For example the interactions become more serious and avoidant between the family members following a heart attack suffered by one of the members due to a genetic issue. Finally it shows a variety of interactions between the narrator and many different family members to show how this loss of open communication affects how everyone speaks.

Another family with strained communication is the Gilmore family from hit TV show "Gilmore Girls". From the very beginning of the show, it is evident main character Lorelei Gilmore does not have a stable relationship with her wealthy parents. However, because her daughter Rory was accepted to attend prestigious Chilton private school Lorelei had to break her no speaking terms to ask her parents to help her pay for their granddaughter's school tuition. The only condition Lorelei's mother, Emily, had was for Lorelei and Rory to attend family dinners with her and her husband, Richard, every Friday night for the foreseeable future. It is at these family dinners where the viewers witness the strain on Lorelei and her parents' relationship caused by years of no contact. Many episodes feature fights breaking out at these dinners and other places between Lorelei and her parents. One of these fights took place season two episode two, after Lorelei had told her mother she was getting married and did not receive an excited reaction. Because of this a fight 

breaks out between Lorelei and her mother where her mom continues to try and walk away and question why Lorelei was reacting in such a way, even going as far to ask Lorelei if she had been drinking. Lorelei persists to yell at her mother asking her why she didn't react eventually leading to Emily saying she was hurt because she found out about the wedding from a total stranger and was the last person her daughter told. This interaction shows a loss of communication on both ends, with Lorelei not telling her mother about her wedding sooner, and with Emily hiding her emotions from Lorelei which in turn hurt Lorelei's feelings. 

Both of these examples show how a loss of communication can hurt people and affect relationships especially within families. With "A Primer for the Punctuation of Heart Disease” it shows how illness and uncertainty can affect the relationships between family members. It also describes how certain events can cause more strain on the relationships due to unspoken words and thoughts. "Gilmore Girls" explores the rebuilding of a relationship between a daughter and her parents. It highlights how because of past events and a long period of time with no communication, it was hard to openly communicate with each other after reestablishing the relationship. These both focus on family dynamics and how communication, or lack thereof, affects these dynamics which can create issues with certain people feeling unseen or unheard, meanwhile others may feel excluded or forgotten by their loved ones. Everyone wants to feel accepted and appreciated, however when communication is lost, it is hard to be able to feel in such a way. 

I resonate with these two examples because sometimes it is hard to talk to someone about difficult things. There are many thoughts that I have that go unspoken, not because I do not want to say them, but if I voice those thoughts, it could make things awkward in the moment. This fear of communicating is shown in both the text and the TV show and is very evident in life as well. Many kids hide things from their parents, whilst many parents hide things from their children. This is because of the idea of protecting someone, or the fear of retaliation for what you say. Therefore, many people lose the confidence to voice their thoughts. Sometimes, however this can lead to people feeling hurt, therefore, it is probably better to just communicate with someone rather than stay silent, because the less communication the more strain is added to the relationship. 

Citations

  • Foer, Jonathan Safran. “A Primer for the Punctuation of Heart Disease.” Literature: A World of Writing: Stories, Poems, Plays, and Essays, edited by David L. Pike and Ana M. Acosta, 2nd ed., Pearson, 2014, pp. 120–124.

  • Gilmore Girls. Created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, performances by Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel, Warner Bros. Television, 2000–2007.